倩；Life's drawing without an eraser

AKA Qiann

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blogskin last updated on: 11.10.09

Identity

Wednesday, April 23, 2014, 2:27 PM

"Be yourself and love yourself for who you are."

Sounds cool. Sounds easy. But I never really understood how that can apply to myself. How do I love myself for who I am when I don't even understand myself? I believe the feeling of inferiority is not uncommon and it's just normal for us to be envy and jealous of others who have the kind of life that we aspire. Especially when it seems that we can never get anywhere close to that. Their looks, their figure, their family, their talents, their friends - practically their perfect life. And I sometimes just can't help but wonder why am I so far from that?

Honestly I can't say I'm happy with my life right now because I really cant find joy in anything I do nowadays. As far as I remember, the days I truly loved life ended somewhere in sec 3 or 4. Lifeless and dead would aptly describe my days beyond that even until today. 8 months of holidays, 5 months have passed. What exactly have I accomplished? Nothing shiok! Not like the kind of yolo insane life I had looked forward to before my Alvls. "The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment" so apt.

It really feels like I've lost myself somewhere amidst this journey and am clueless of where exactly should I pick myself up from again.

sigh. I really hope I can stop wasting my life away.