He left us.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011, 2:53 PM

GUESS WHAT.
I'm actually having a pimple at the inner side of my eyelid. Even blinking has became an agony. & that's the reason why, i decided to take leave today. Yesterday was half-day, today is leave, and this week will be my last week of job. (my entire job only lasted 3 weeks)

LOL. i really felt so embarrassing when i had to apply leave today. REPUTATION GONE BAD ): it seems like i'm one such person that gets tired of my job and skips it. But i strongly believe i'm not >:D


Oh yes, i guess i havent came here for a v v long time. Just to pen it down, dearest grdpa had passed away on 01Nov which is like 1 month ago. Yes i know, he's gone. We all know it. But i just cant help it when images and memories come engulfing my mind. The days in hospital were really the days i got so much closer to him. i went there after school, i talked to him, i saw a smile from him that i've never seen before, i did my olvl preparations there, i shed tears too. His liver failure was causing him so much of an agony that it could cost his life any second. He was like living with a bomb that could go off anytime. No symptoms, No pain, and there he goes. Everyone was living in fear for weeks. It was really heartwarming to see our family members crowding around his bed where he'd chat with us every night. It was also really heart wrenching to witness him being sent to the BB room where he layed totally unconscious and where the doctor officially announced that his time is almost up. The nights that we rushed to the hospital, the times we waited outside A&E, the moments when we teared while trying to accept the hard truth that was thrown right into our faces.


I remember, it was the day before my Emaths paper 1. i was struggling between going hospital or returning home to revise for emaths. In the end, i chose the former. I believe that if i had chosen the latter, it'd be my greatest regret of my life. That day was the particular day that grdpa was really beaming all the time and cracking jokes with us. Mind you, he was always a serious man. That afternoon spent with him was awesome. Yijun and I were accompanying him at his bedside while he was unusually energetic that day. He commented that the nurses were fat, he warned us not to drink his favourite milk, he talked about his past, he was so full of emotions when he talked about the days which he was forced to sell off his daughters, he was at the verge of tears. He had always been a quiet man. That day, he was behaving exactly like a child. he was so happy. I thought, it was something good.

Apparently, it wasn't. its what i think they call 回光反照. when a person is nearing the end of his life, there would always be one particular occasion where he suddenly seems to travel back to his childhood times and behave like a child, seemingly very cheerful and happy. Maybe, this is the last comfort that God wants to give to his family. Whatever it is, i believe that he was genuinely happy that day. Whether or not he was my true grdpa, it left us fond memories of him.

The song that we all had for him. 当我们都在一起
Everyone burst out in tears such that merely a voice could be heard singing.
it was such a bitter moment.

"快乐的歌，却带着有些伤感"


We'll remain as the united family that we always were.



公公，你安心吧。
我们都爱你。