B-O-R-I-N-G !

Studies just spell BORING. SIANNESS. STRESS. EMO.
Life has been such a bitch to an extent that i'm probably giving up on myself.
NO motivation to study. Yet, the lazy attitude is still staying strong within me.
ITS CONTROLLING ME .
ITS AFFECTING ME.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I HATE LIVES BEFORE OLVL.

But, the times i have with my awesome genuine friends, dilligent classmates, passionate teachers, i'm really going to cherish them well. real well. Frankly speaking, studies; Olvl, are not my first priorities at this point of time. Its the mere few weeks we all have together before this kind of school life ends. A Sad Fact: After the upcoming prelim 2, we all only have bloody 8 days left together in the classroom. Those lessons in classroom, those motivational videos, those lecturing, ITS ALL OVER. It signals the ending of our short 4 years of secondary school lives. How suck can this be? We have 6 years in Primary School when we're all innocent and dumb children, and we begin to mature and learning to treasure the things around us, in the secondary education, we only have 4 years. then moving on, 2 years in tertiary education. STUPID.
Friends are Awesome. They make one's life so much interesting and tells us that We'll Never Walk Alone.

Friendship.

I know you're hating me. Those true feelings and harsh words, i know, its me. I'm sorry. I really don't notice anything unusual in our daily interactions. I mean, right from the start, i know you probably hate me, to the core. I think it'll be far worse than hell if you were to enter the same JC as me. I'm sorry. I'm a very fail friend. i admit, seriously. How many people actually like being my friend? Probably i only bring unhappiness and boredom to the people around me. First it was HER, and now its YOU. You said you found me irritating in Sec one. And i actually find you irritating at times too. But i know very well that i cherish this friendship. I dont want it to have any cock ups. But seems like im letting me emotions get the better of me. I just dont like it when you do certain things. You dont change, even after telling, i swear. But whatever the case, I want you as my friend. And i still treat you as a good friend, but i feel a repulsion from you recently. You may not know, but i'm genuinely sorry. I know i've hurt you in many ways when i'm irritated by you, snubbing you, ignoring you, treating you like a transparent sheet. I believe there's no friend you have out there who made you suffer as much. I screwed you secondary school life, not the 4years, but probably the last 1 or 2 years. You have the choice to hurt me. i seriously, wont rebut. Cause' there's not a way i can make it up for my mistakes.

FUCK MYSELF.
I CAN SCREW MY LIFE ALL I WANT IT, BUT WHY DO I SCREW OTHERS' LIVES UP?
Selfish. You deserve sufferings.

Maybe trying to treat someone you dont like good is not a good thing. i tried, very hard. yet i get the adverse effect. cause you dont feel the goodness, you feel the hypocrisy. what a shame on myself.

Confession: i dont hate you. i'm just irritated by things you do at times. In fact, very often. But,
I DONT HATE YOU.

but i deserve to be hated.


Feel free to hurt me, cause i know i've hurt you more than many times.

对不起
我还是很爱你

Living in my own reality, hopefully. ♥