倩；Life's drawing without an eraser

more than words (L)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010, 11:49 PM

life never goes the way you want. no matter how hard you pray and hope that things like that will not happen, it still happened right in front of your existence nevertheless. we were all so against it, we were all eager to fight for some rights that we hope we can retain, we hope that our voices would be heard and be taken in. we wrote a list of our reasons for what we are trying to do and we had quite some talks with them. its really up to them if they want to hear and take in our concerns truly or they choose to hear and try to make us happy by saying some stuffs that they wouldn't mean. i dont know, i mean we all wont know, till things happen. i really hate it when they talk to us like we are some children thinking irrelevant stuffs that eventually poses as a stumbling block for everyone. i understand how they might think but we really do have our concerns. i'm not pinpointing anyone seriously, but its just really how i feel towards all these.

yes we should be open minded, open to all ideas, accepting what's meant to be good to be the school and not let emotions control our actions. thats what leaders should possess isn't it. but this time round, its freaking hard for me. not that i dont want to control my emotions but feelings are deeply developed throught these years through thick and thins, through scoldings and jokes, through lectures and boring meetings, through daily fear of facing the whole population, through fear of telling people to do what's right when they are your friends.

we all started out so afraid to approach people to shout at them when they are really doing something way off wrong. we all overcame those fear as one. we became more courageous or maybe thick skinned you would say, to shout and hurry people, to ignore people when you are carrying out your job and cant afford to be distracted, to ignore those nasty comments and to catch those people that really makes life difficult for us. end of the day, the process that we all turned from timid little leaders to better ones. the growing process that we all went through together, accompanied with scoldings etc.. we got to see one another even before we got to know each other well and yet, from a bunch of strangers to a bunch of peeps that unknowingly witnessed one another's change to a great leader. it is really a nice sight to experience. although i admit, we aren't perfect nevertheless.

and after a period of time, we all got to familiarize with one another and even became great buds. we all promoted from one level to another each year. after that, we came to witness how juniors join us and its really just like seeing what we were last time. they are just like witnessing more children coming into the family. :) other than than, we see them growing as a potential group of leaders and rise to being able to take greater job responsibilities and showcasing their talents. seeing people developing from an introvert to an outspoken person through trainings and lectures. seeing them trying the best to do their job and seeing them being so committed to the organisation, it was truly an.. indescribable kind of feeling. sense of pride and achievement maybe ? seeing the truly capable future pillars of the organisations being developed is soo great, its like kind of relieving where you can put your mind at peace. at least, we know that it has someone to uphold the values in future. (:

yknow, these bits and pieces of the processes throughout the years just tend to leave a great impact on the heart. when it was with you, you never thought that it would ever leave you. i would say that i did cherished every single moment i spend in it, with everyone. memorable indeed. (: but when it comes to a point of time when decisions are not in your control and what you have felt deeply attached to is now taken away, or rather, disappearing, those little moments that left in our hearts starts to develop a kind of 怀念 & 舍不得. yes, this is the kind of emotional feelings that i mean. seriously, these emotional feelings are too great and powerful that if you want me to be unaffected by all these and move right ahead, im afraid im unable to do so now. these moments are of great significance to me and if i say i dont have any feelings towards them, im really inhumane. haha. well if you say that if my head is overcome by these emotions = a lousy leader. i've nothing much to say because what i cherish, is more than these words and what that you might ever think.

aww loves ! ;D

i wonder if im the only one feeling this way. i know we all still have to move on. but its just a matter of time. and i just need time, hopefully.